A THOUGHT

a moment of grace,
was just a phase,
in my life,
up until now,
the thought of life,
and my vow,
was relinquished,
vanished,
in a distance,
far beyond existence,
that thought,
supposed to be a happy thought,
and my path should be straight,
instead,
it has ups and downs,
left and right,
which made me down,
and cant think right,
right now everything's a blur,
can't really decide what i want,
like my favorite color,
i'm not sure if i have 3,2 or just one,
all this confusion,
all this motion,
is making me nauseous,
sick to my stomach,
and i have to teach my mouth to be cautious,
cz i cant bare having another headache,
nor another heartache.